Category: Josh Towers

Personification of an elegant beast

I used to throw 40-something mph “fastballs” at the Ontario Science Center and go berserk listening to Joshua Giraffe.

But a kid named Josh used to throw FASTBALLS and go REALLY berserk living the life of a Joshua Giraffe.

He did it all with California-sized heart.

He lived a little wilder.

His fastball flew a bit faster.

The heart pounded a little bit harder.

You might say, he welcomed the jungle.

The story of Joshua Giraffe implanted itself deep in the psyche of many a youngster, but for this kid, it was a revelation. Every line of Joshua Giraffe described his world. SoCal was the zoo. The jungle was professional baseball.

This is the other version of the life of:

Joshua Eric Towers


Joshua Tow-ers,
Was born in SoCal,
He lived in the val-ley
For a few years and a half,
He threw and he threw,
But he wasn’t rickety
With hands so very sticky,
From Coors light, Gatorade, Mountain Dew
Big Boy’s, Fazoli’s, and Mcdonald’s.
There must be something better
Than batting in this cage.
I’m not too really sure,
Drafted in the 15th stage.

Joshua Tow-ers
Was feeling kind of rad
But also kind of sad.
How little of life he’d had,
Wasting away with no room to play,
Trapped in SoCal zoo drinking Mountain Dew.

So he went next door to the snake pit
And asked Mr. Slash what to do.
I’m wasting away with no room to play,
I’m trapped in SoCal zoo, drinking Mountain Dew.

Slash was very dark and gray.
But still had huge stardom.
And he said:
“Never fear Joshua, for a vision will appear”.

And that night, a dream came to Joshua,
And Joshua saw beasts like crazy orioles,
And a whole pile of red socks and yankees,
And flitty tigers,
And rays size 12,
And sleazy nats,
And a flock of campy blue jays .

But Joshua wasn’t afraid
Because he sang himself this song:
Nothing can go wrong-o,
I’m in Toronto
Nothing can go wrong-o,
I’m in Toronto
Nothing can go wrong-o,
I’m in Toronto
Nothing can go wrong-o,
I’m in Toronto
Nothing can go wrong-o,
I’m in Toronto
Nothing can go wrong-o,
I’m in Toronto
Even in his dream he knew,
He’d never be sent away,
Not even for a day.
Then a peanut hit him on the nose.

Joshua Tow-ers
Was sent down to Syracuse,
What could he do,
Awakened from his dream,
He’d never be the same,
Because of what he’d seen.
Then he’d see:
Bisons in Buffalo, Durham Bulls,
Iron Pigs in LeHigh, Louisville Bats,
Red Wings in Rochester, Toledo Mudhens,
And some Gibbons just plain aped him.

But Joshua was lucky,
He had special friends Thomas and Rios,
And they tried a Yankee coup,
But Joshua couldn’t fight so they waited til the night,
And swapped his rage for brew,
He discovered he could fly and,
He soared into the sky with them,
Wrapped around his neck,
And they haven’t come back yet,
So if you see them make a bet

That’s right they haven’t come back yet
But when they do, they say they are
Going to free all the Blue Jays from their cages,
No matter how newly acquired,
Even some pets, too.
So if on your way home today,
You happen to find….
A baboon basking in the balcony
Or a lion licking a lemon in the lobby,
Or a python perched in the pantry,
A wildebeest in the W.C.,
With a turtle twirling in your tub,
Don’t be afraid, just say you’re a friend of their friend.

Joshua Tow-ers, Joshua, Joshua,
Joshua Tow-ers, Joshua, Joshua (woo hoo) Repeat x9

Baseball in J Minor

Jesse Litsch in J Minor

Jesse the Litsch threw 2+ innings for the Lansing Lugnuts yesterday, as part of his rehabilitaton. Read of that drama at 1 Blue Jays Way.

The Toronto Maple Leafs Baseball Club, who play every Saturday (2pm) at Christie Pits, have finally updated their website to one that is less reminiscent of the video game Pong.

Paul Spoljaric retired

Former Canadian Olympian Paul Spoljaric has retired. Spoljaric pitched six seasons in the big leagues with the Toronto Blue Jays and Seattle Mariners. He hung on until age 40, pitching among the best of the Intercounty Baseball League for the Toronto Maple Leafs and Barrie Baycats.

Former Jays badboy Josh Towers left his job with the Diablos Rojos of Mexico City for a return to employment in United States with the Camden Riversharks of the Independent Atlantic Professional Baseball League. More updates on Josh to come.

The Odyssey, By Dustin McGowan update

Alex Anthopolous cautiously mused about the possibility of Dustin McGowan, who touched 96 m.p.h. the other day, joining the starting rotation come September. How this would relate to his status on the Blue Jays roster, and another potential contract renewal, will depend largely on his progress in the 30 days following the end of extended spring training, at which time McGowan will have to either join the 25-man roster or clear waivers, in order to continue rehabbing with a Jays minor league outfit.

Anthopoulos spoke this afternoon with Bob McCown and Stephen Brunt on Prime Time Sports about Dustin, the state of the Blue Jays rotation, and the implications of Yunel Escobar’s new contract.